Trying to keep it together

Last night was brutal. Selene cried, whined and literally whimpered all night long. At 2 we asked for Ativan. She slept better until about 5 when she started puking. Then she was up at 7. I was still so tired and she was asking for the ipad, so I set her up with a show and laid back down.

A few minutes later she was telling my mom to look at her arm. Blood was everywhere. I assumed the cap just came undone, like it has been. Nope, the one lumen pulled completely out of her arm.

It was a whirlwind of getting the dressing off, ultimately pulling out the other side, bandaging her up, then the IV team came to set her up so she could continue to get her meds. I wanted to be taken to IR immediately. Of course my baby is priority! But apparently everyone thinks that. Our doctor fought for us and they said they'd get us in before noon. But we can't be that lucky and they tried to cancel us due to schedule issues. He fought to keep us on so now we are in the afternoon.

Yesterday, I was excited for a day where Pappy shows up, Selene is ecstatic to see him, we have fun playing and it's all a lovely day. But then this craziness happened and all of a sudden I don't know when we'll be back in the room, what she'll be like when my Dad finally gets to see her. I'm just overwhelmed.

And on top of all of it, I kept pulling what I thought were fuzzies out of my mouth while snuggling her. Until I realized it's her hair. I knew it was going to happen but I couldn't stop the tears when I realized it was finally falling. I need to snip a lock for her first "hair cut." 

As I write this, it actually sounds so trivial. I know this isn't all that bad. Other children have it so much worse and are in so much more pain. And Selene is surrounded by people who love her. After the complete fiasco of this morning, laying still for an IV, tears streaming down her face, she still happily waved to her nurse and made Zibo play with her. I really couldn't be more impressed with this little one. I know I say that a lot, I'll probably just keep saying it because she is awesome.

Now we wait for Child Life to show up with survival supplies-stickers, movies and new coloring items!


***Update, they said we are scheduled for 4pm I want to cry. Also, the nutrition department just brought her snack and she got all excited before I could grab it and run out of the room. Is this day over yet?