And then it was Zero.

The night is settling in on day -1 and the sun will rise on day Zero.

I know that Selene's marrow is currently empty and that there's no going back. But putting Ainsley's cells into her is pivotal in how the rest of her life will go.

I can't believe the strength and beauty of spirit that Ainsley has had through these past few months and especially the past two weeks.  She is 4 going on 40. She is kinder, gentler and more secure in her feelings on this than I could ever imagine. I assume a large part of it is her naivete and that's a good thing. I don't want her to understand the whole weight of this situation. But I think that the special connection God has with children has to be real. Because him surrounding her can be the only explanation for her peacefulness in handling all of this.

I thought making it through chemotherapy was going to be the hardest part of this. And we sailed through it. So now I figure that the waiting is going to be the hardest part of this. Waiting for numbers to rise, waiting to see if she spikes a fever, waiting to see if the cells engraft. Waiting for the possible rejection. Here's to hoping we sail through this with increasing numbers and continued good spirits. And that hardest part of everything will be learning how to handle three beautiful, happy, healthy kids in three months.

And our journey continues.

Ainsley is continuing to have a blast!

Buried in the cold!

Looking at her photo album. I think it's time to FT her cousins!

Nooooooooodles!

That gorgeous face.

What I see on the left, and then the right when I wake up <3

"Dr. Bunin, you need to account for DST. It's too early!"

I will pretend not to cooperate, even though I'm still smiling and waving from under here.

Daily Drive.

Playroom time!

still eating, thankful for small things!

I haven't chosen this girls' clothes in like 3 months. Always styling.