Quick, knock on wood. *Updated*

Tonight one of our previous nurses asked how Selene was doing and how the PICC was. I joked "It better be fine, it's barely been 24 hours!"  Apparently I forgot to knock on wood.

The night nurse just woke me up to tell me the PICC is broken. Again.

"What did she do? What happened?"

SHE WAS SLEEPING!

I'm beyond irate at this point. I may have freaked out on all of them when they walked in asking what she did. I definitely apologized later.

The IV team said she should have had grip locks on her arm to support the weight. I somehow feel like that's my fault...even though I learned what a grip lock was two weeks ago.

I don't know what they'll do at this point. They inserted an IV for the crucial meds tonight. The rounding doctors yesterday mentioned that they might want to insert an NG tube if she keeps having trouble. But I feel like none of this is her fault or about her. I don't know how NG tubes feel though she gets used to things fast and adapts really well. Another hesitation of mine is that I view an NG tube as a complication/failure because it's used at the end when they can't get kids to eat and it's the only way to send them home.

What I think it's about is a defective lot of PICCs or it's about them not properly securing a tiny PICC that has 8 heavy tubes hanging from it...

And this little girl just keeps cooperating through it all, even through her tears. And then asked to go to bed.

I know this is probably my most negative post to date and I'm trying to stay positive, I really am. In the light of day I'm sure the answer will be clear and acceptable. But right now, after what I just witnessed Selene go through, it's not OK.

We just need prayers. Lots and lots of prayers.

***Update
The doctors decided to put a broviac in. Initally they chose the PICC when her counts were low due to risk of infection. But we all agree that this is the best plan for a secure line and to be the final insertion.

Selene has been begging for Teddy Grahams, cookies and goldfish all day. For a child who they don't expect to eat she sure is still craving food and it kills me to tell her no. You best believe when she wakes up she'll have cookies, teddy grahams and goldfish waiting!

It's noon and she just fell asleep (asking to go into her crib, which is a clear sign of complete exhaustion). So if she sleeps for a few hours and then they call us it will be amazing! Of course I'll twitch if they call us in an hour and I have to wake her. But I can't have my cake and eat it too.

Thank you for all the concern and prayers. We still continue to be thankful that our complications aren't worse and that ultimately, after getting passed the trauma of all the sticks, starving and scars, that these are minor, fixable issues.

"And we know that in all things
God works for the good of those who love him,
who have been called according to his purpose."
Romans 8:28