Tuesday, March 31, 2015

We're going home!!!

I've been MIA for a day or two! Yesterday was so busy with going to Ainsley's class Easter party, which was adorable as always, and then coming back and continuing the feeding frenzy. Then after an uncommonly defiant bedtime I pretty much crashed.

I started to write a post this morning when our rounding doctors came in. They looked happy and pleased, as they normally do with Selene. And they asked how we'd feel about going home tomorrow. I may have squealed with delight.

This sign has hung blank since check in. Seeing this was amazing.


I couldn't believe it. I was holding out for Friday as our "early departure." But here it was and then a whirlwind of planning and preparations. I was supposed to be gone all day for Ainsley's kindergarten registration and a doctor's appointment for BB3. But I wanted to be here for the medication training, etc. So Dan took Ainsley (I mean, that's his expertise anyway, right?) and I rescheduled my appointment..again. I'm sure she's doing fine, other than trying to burrow out of my body.

We've started packing up the room. I'm really glad I took a load of stuff home yesterday! And saying our goodbyes to friends and nurses on the floor.

A fellow Mom and friend said that they miss this floor and I didn't understand how that could be possible. But I get it now! Everyone is amazing. Plus, I like having the professionals around to double check everything. When we are home it will be all on me to take note of every change, every slight increase in temperature (hopefully there are none), getting her to take her meds. Plus I'll be cooking, cleaning, taking care of the house, the girls, and then spending day long appointments at CHOP on Tuesdays. Then I consider adding a newborn to the mix in 2 months and it's all a bit overwhelming. I know that we'll work that out too. 5 weeks in the hospital seemed like it would be impossible and here we are.

We are sure this couldn't have been done without all of your prayers and God's support. I truly feel in my heart that He surrounded Selene and kept her happy, strong and faithful. I can't think of a better miracle to come during Holy Week (since Jesus already claimed the greatest Miracle on Easter Sunday). He's brought New Life to Selene and given us all a new start.

Thank you for all of the love, prayers, and support over these past few crazy weeks! I doubt I'll be able to keep up with daily posts since life will happen. But I'll do my best to keep everyone updated. At least on Tuesdays with we get numbers and news!

All our love...





Egg hunting


Of course I went to Frappy Hour

Cutie!

She loves brushing hair

Giggles with Nurse Linda

Cleaning...


I went to the bathroom and came out with her snuggled up with the computer...

Jamming to Bob Marley

It's appropriate that the Neutrapania/BMT kid is obsessed with cleaning.

Crusing

I forget what I told her No for...

Can't get comfortable.

Bedtime Milk.

Sunday, March 29, 2015

"Excuse you!"

Selene has been out of control cute recently. Her language is booming and she's picking up on all sorts of things.  She's had pleasantries such as Please, Thank you, You're welcome, Excuse me (when she burps), God Bless you, etc. for awhile now. But the best is that now when Dan burps she tells him "Excuse you." I'm also a huge fan of her adding an "S" to your when its not necessary.

Anyway, I know all toddlers have their own cute misuse of words and phrases (it's not cute when you're grown up), but there is just something about this cutie that I can't get enough of. It could be my survival instinct since I have no choice but to spend all my time with her.

Her numbers were back up a bit, not all the way to the other day, but she's doing great. The new attending on rotation is wonderfully supportive and is eager to get her off of IV nutrition. So he asked us to now keep track of everything she eats as well as drinks. Obviously, a new row of stickers was added to the chart. 5 bites per sticker.  We had a successful 14 ounce day! The last ounce was when she was in bed and told me she was thirsty and drank it unprompted in just a few minutes. We also had a list of food equating to 7 stickers. It took a ton of encouragement but we are eager to be 100% IV free. Plus this is all bringing us closer to home!

The night shift nurse came in to take over while Selene was happily and crazily bouncing on Daddy (not what he had in mind when he suggested they play cars on the play mat) and she remarked that this did not look like a sick child. This is what the doctors and nurses keep telling us. "Don't focus on the numbers, focus on how strong and happy she is. That is the most telling right now."

Ainsley, Nana and Grandad also came for another visit today. They girls went nuts together in the hallway. Happily ramming the cozy coupe into Grandad over and over again.  Getting to steal Ainsley away for a sandwich at Potbelly rounded out a perfect day.

I also get to escape twice this week since Dan is on spring break! Tomorrow I will attend Ainsley's Easter party and on Tuesday I get to take her to Kindergarten registration. When did my baby get old enough to register for Kindergarten?!

I can't believe our time is coming to an end. It partly feels like it flew and then I think back to all that has happened and can't believe how long ago it feels. Terrifically surreal. I know we have a long road a head of us. But I know that if we survived this chapter that the rest will follow.

Thank you for all of the prayers! Hope everyone has a lovely Spring Break, Holy Week and Easter!



Obsessed with "Tea party!!"

"You want coffees?"
"Yes, Selene, I want all the coffees."

Hey there cutie.

Her current adorable door. We have to rotate all of our artwork!

She wanted to read the menu and tell me what she wanted for dinner (2 soups and 2 chickens). She also pointed to the sandwhich and said she wanted it. So close to being able to have fresh foods!

Primping with Daddy

I have a good life.

Let's play cars turned into Hop on Pop


 

Saturday, March 28, 2015

Daddy Day!

I had a lovely night at home last night. I got panera take out, curled up in bed, ate, and watched girl tv. It was perfectly relaxing. In the morning I did some organizing and realized there is way too much purging and organizing yet to be done. So I gave up and went to have lunch with Ainsley and the family.

She and I had a great afternoon playing Egg hunt, until she left to get something, never came back and I fell asleep on her bed for two hours. Oops :-)

Dan did his best to get me to stay away another night, but I just couldn't! I missed a certain smiling face too much.

Apparently though, I am needed for nothing. Because Selene had the best day with Daddy and the best part? She drank 13 ounces! Due to his brilliant idea of a sticker chart (also utilized for behavior with Ainsley when her toddler hood was testing us) she eagerly drank. Mostly water and Naked Juices which also made me happy, yay nutrients and H2O!

Her numbers took their first slight dip, totally expected, still a bummer, but overall everyone is still pleased. I brought some Easter things from home to try and convince myself we could/should still be here. But I won't complain if discharge happens on Friday!

Here's to hoping for another day full of ounces and smiles!

Sticker chart!

Nap time

So proud!

Adding her 13th sticker!


She wanted to dance with Daddy <3

On an egghunt kick

Fun outside the room today!

Ainsley's egg hunt with Nana and Grandad!

Friday, March 27, 2015

Chug, Chug, Chug!

Pray for Thirst!

Selene is doing amazingly. Today they made me schedule our Broviac care class.  But now we are down to the "Is she drinking?" question all day long.  I knew this would be an issue going in. It is sooo common and my kids aren't great drinkers to begin with. But now that it could be the one thing holding us back it is nerve wracking. Deb and I pulled out all of our tricks today and got 3 ounces in her. Dan enticed her to drink a few ounces of water this afternoon. I think part of it is whatever happens anatomically to make them not want to drink and part of it is her being 2. While I was encouraging her this morning she kept crossing her arms and saying "Don't care!" But I care!

Now that it's dinner time we are working on a few more ounces. Not only would this keep us from going home, but if she doesn't get enough they will put in an NG tube. And I really don't want that to happen just because she won't drink.

Deb said that the three big criterea you have to meet besides decent numbers are
  -Not needing platelets more than every three days-she has never needed them other than surgery day.
  -Weaning off of intense pain meds-she was never on them.
  -Drinking enough.

They are trying not to say it but if all goes well we could be home before Easter. Something I never imagined!

I'm going back to our house tonight to get some things taken care of so I'm going to get a few of her favorite cups and straws. Hopefully that will help.

So just keep the prayers coming that all numbers continue to rise and that she cooperates and drinks enough to appease the doctors!

Chug, Chug, Chug!


I'll put these pretty bands on my arm.

This means nothing to most of you, just take note of rising numbers and a higher ANC that she ever created on her own!

Her drinking bar!

Shots! Shots! Shots!

Patience of a Saint, she played stickers for an hour.

Giggling over tubie flushing.

Still on stickers

Puzzles with Nurse Deb

She took 2 hours to fall asleep, but she's so cute!

DRINK!



Thursday, March 26, 2015

Ah, quarantine rules

Today was fairly exhausting and emotional with an overtired toddler. Selene didn't nap yesterday, went to bed late, slept poorly (I'll be sad when I can't push a button and have a nurse pump Ativan into her IV when we go home.), then didn't nap today. So she was a bit moody.

That also meant it was the day that we had both PT and OT, both by fill-ins, thus people Selene didn't know. So she was slow to warm up. Though when I apologized to the Occupational Therapist for her bad mood she replied with "Um, I was about to thank Miss. Jen for letting me come play with this sweetie, so if this is grumpy, I can't imagine a good mood!"

Oh, before I go on! Her numbers continue to go up! Her ANC was just 240, but it was up 7 and not down! Which meant we got to ditch one of the antibiotics today. And everything else was a little higher. Praise the Lord for this progress!

We then had our meeting with the outpatient Nurse Practitioner. And while I knew all of the quarantine rules before, hearing them out loud made it a bit overwhelming. I will say there were two big things that threw me. One, is that the "Don't go anywhere rule" applies to Nana and Grandad's house, even though they live 10 minutes away and have a clean house, and come to our house not wearing masks. And that we shouldn't go to my parent's for a year! Because of the 4 hour drive and the need to be able to be within an hour of a good hospital in case of any fever.

The other big one is that she said there shouldn't be a problem with Ainsley going to school! We were shocked. I asked her four times to confirm this. Miss Mitchell, if you read this before I email you, woah!

Here's a brief outline just in case you are interested.
-We go no where but home, outside and ONCO clinic for 4 months.
-When we are home, visitors wear masks. At clinic, Selene wears the mask (until she's in a room then the docs will wear the mask to give her a break).
-No more than 3 visitors at a time, in our home (all wearing masks).
-She is to be around no one who is unvaccinated or children under 3 as their regimen is incomplete, for one year. (new baby is given a bye and is able to receive all of her vaccines on schedule).
-At the 3 month mark, masks can cease.
-No swimming in public pools, oceans, lakes, etc. for 1 year (private pools are fine).
-No digging in dirt, sand, etc. Sprinklers and water tables are ok.
-At a fever of 101.5, we go straight to CHOP. At least this threshold is much higher than her neutropenic 100.4
-At 4 months we can go to uncrowded places at uncrowded times.
-The sun is bad! It can actually activate GVHD (graft versus host disease) and she will never be able to be a sun worshiper. Which means she will look 25 until she's 80 with lovely skin. We are anti sun people anyway, especially with our Irish skin and live in hats, sunscreen, and light layers, so not much changes there.
-Her broviac stays in for around a month, just in case. That means I'll have to flush the tubes and clean the caps once a day.
-House should remain clean and disinfected. (they had concerns with animals and smoking which are non-issues for us.)
-She can eat anything though things must be pasteurized, and veggies/fruits well washed.
-She has to drink a liter a day. Not sure how to make that happen...
-She'll be on a variety of oral meds, some for a few months and some for a year. But her list of meds is quite short compared to what it could be (yay for a strong girl!) so I can't complain.
-We are seen in Clinic weekly for 3 months, then biweekly for a month or so, then monthly for a year.
-She will be followed for the rest of her life, yearly.
-The big immune functioning tests are done at 4, 6, 8 and 12 months (this is a big appointment with lots of other testing too).

And that's the overall idea of it all. I think it sounds like a lot now. But add in a new baby and the ability to play outside and it will be survivable. What I didn't ask was if this is from day 0, or when we leave the hospital. Technically, we are already 17 days into our 4 months if it's day 0!

The hospital, chemo and transplant process hasn't been as bad as we imagined, so being at home for a few months won't be that bad either.


An amazing Tutu arrived today, topped off with Oreo face.

Emphatic "I love yous!"


Her favorite corner when she is untubied.

I love the reflection off of her head :-)