Beanie's Blog: As Promised

I promised I'd have more, although I don't have any other news. I spoke with Ellen (her Nurse Practitioner) today and she said they now want an ultrasound of Selene's liver. They don't know what they're looking for so they're just looking everywhere.

I'm trying to stay calm but it's hard not to get scared. You go into transplant knowing there are complications, that it could wreak havoc on your child's tiny perfect body. But you hope you won't see any of those complications. Thankfully Dan has shut down next week. I'm sure that in true Dan fashion he will be working remotely more hours than he should, but at least he'll be able to take another CHOP shift. It's such a relief that he's been such a help but so strange to relinquish my duties. This has always been my realm and I feel like I'm bailing on my most important job. I'm sure after I take back over for the next appointment I'll be exhausted and overwhelmed trying to haul the baby there. I'm also not looking forward to the fact that my first appointment back will include bloodwork for Kalina.

When they had to do the heel prick in the hospital they asked if we were ok being in the room when it happened. Dan and I gave each other a knowing look and said it was fine. We calmly held her tiny hands and whispered love to her for the one minute ordeal. But a heel prick is completely different than a vein blood draw on a one month old newborn. I'm sure tiger Mom will come out though and I'll handle it just fine.

So continued prayers for both those girls is appreciated!

On a happy note, we celebrated Ainsley's 5th birthday last weekend. Of course we couldn't have a "real" party and my heart broke when she asked when we were sending invitations to her classmates. I explained that we couldn't do a party this year because of Selene. She took it well but I wanted to make this party amazing. My sister joined us for a long weekend and we slightly broke the rules with 5 people over and Nana, Grandad and her uncles came up for a cookout.

Jolene and I decorated a frozen cake with homeade "ice" (rock candy, which is quite difficult to make without a candy thermometer). Add in some balloons and she was a happy camper who kept running around yelling "Thank you thank you for everything!" I love my happy, content, appreciative little girl. When Selene was asking for presents too, she even said "Don't worry, Selene. I'll share everything." Heart swells...

I will update more next week when we have some blood results back and hopefully some answers.

Happy Father's day to all the amazing men in our lives!!